I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Randomize
