When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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