i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
