Don't you send me to vm
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
