hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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