I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
