Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
