that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
