just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just want to make out with him forever
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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