i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize