Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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