YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
