He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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