Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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