wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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