I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
