She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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