Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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