So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
