yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
