What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
