She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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