I wannas sexs uuuuu
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
