I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
one two three fourrrrnication!
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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