it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
