He kissed a someone with a penis
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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