She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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