Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
