can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
