I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
