nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
