Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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