fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
