He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
