The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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