doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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