Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
