I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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