so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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