So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
