He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we're making bets on your personal life
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
