my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
