i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
