I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
