One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
