Don't you send me to vm
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
