we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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