My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Randomize
