You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
