I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
