You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
