my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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