Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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