can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
