No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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