I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My vagina just recognized that song.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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