Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Define "chronic" masturbator.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
