i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
