you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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