Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
