Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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