Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
