he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
