I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
