can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
operation have a gay friend backfired
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
