the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
